Originally Ken came over to look at everything and hear what our hopes were.  He made up a sketch and listed out all the materials we would need to get to complete it and in March/April we began with the demolition of the old rotting deck.  With a couple days a week to work on it, the deck itself completed in June but Luke and I had a lot of other work to do with the landscaping.  Ken didn't charge us a thing for his expertise and time he put into this deck.  We are grateful and blessed beyond measure.  I hate to think of how much this would have cost in labor.  It is my hope that if you are reading this, that perhaps you might have a talent or gifting that you could share with another.  Ken and I were able to trade talents and help each other save a bunch of money that either a builder or a realtor would have charged us.  We were both grateful for the other and that my friends is a beautiful thing!  Ken has moved on now.  He has moved to another state and he will be missed by those here in CT.  I can imagine all the people he will continue to help and bless and I smile just at the thought of it!

It was in June when Amanda passed her first trimester and we could begin sharing with everyone!  We look forward to December and pray all goes well with the pregnancy and labor and delivery.  

The weekend before Mother's Day, they came back to CT for a visit and we got to see him once again as they stayed at our house.  We had so much fun that weekend.  The guys hanging outside working on our deck project and Caesar hanging out, running around as well.  On Sunday night he began to limp, which we thought was from running in our house on our slippery floor.  I wondered if he tore his ACL.  They went home Monday and by Tuesday night he seemed to be getting worse, not eating much.  So Wednesday onto the vet.  4:00 appt. and the vet was NOT worried about the limp...she was worried about something else entirely.  I got word from Amanda that they think he has lymphoma.  WHAT????  I happened to be at Bible Study that night when Amanda called and I immediately took her call and quietly left the room.  I stayed on the phone with my tearful daughter trying to wrap our brains around what was happening.  Collin was on his way but wouldn't get there for a bit so I stayed on with her.  The vet came in and I listened to her tell my daughter it's not looking good for him, they wanted to run some tests to be sure.  2 am and they still had no conclusive results so they sent Caesar home with them in hopes there would be a different answer to what was happening.  In the morning they got the call that it was in fact Cancer.  Oh the tears.  He was able to celebrate his birthday a week early that day and despite all the love he got, by later that day he had declined so rapidly, they had to make the tough choice to bring him back to the vet for one last time.  We facetimed them while they were there and we got to say our goodbyes too.  He sat down right in front of Amanda and that was their cue it was time.  At that point he hadn't sat for hours (It was painful to sit.) 

I have had loss in my life, some really hard loss too with my mom and my brother early on in my life.  This though, this was different.  My baby was losing her loved one.  The one she raised with all her heart.  To see my daughter in such emotional pain was new for me.  There's this thing that happens as a mom, when I am feeling sad or down or depressed or anything like that, then see my daughter in this state something comes over me, a strength I don't know where it comes from.  Well, I do know.  God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit rise up within me and give me strength to work through and be there for my daughter.  For this I am grateful.  I see it too with my husband.  When I am down he has the strength to lift me up and when he is down I gain the strength to lift him up.  It's pretty cool how God designed us.

Easter is a day Christians celebrate the hope in the resurrection of Jesus, The Christ.  Without the resurrection, there is no Christian faith.  I'm not entirely sure where the bunny came into the picture, and not really interested in figuring that out.  It's also debated by historians where the word Easter even came from.  Regardless, I focus on Christ.  The entire Christian faith hangs on the fact that on one day Jesus was crucified and laid to rest in Joseph of Arimathea's tomb and 3 days later He defied death and came back to life signifying that we too, will not be held by our tomb's but live in eternity with the Creator and we have Jesus to thank for that!   Christ died an horrific death for us.  

I remember in high school psychology class being asked to write a paper with this question as the topic to write on.  "Would you be willing to die for a friend?  Explain why or why not."  I believe I was in 10th grade and thought what a loaded question.  I don't think they meant it from a religious perspective as it was not a Catholic school or anything, but that is how I took the question.  I was raised Catholic so I was fairly familiar with some of the historical accounts of things from the Bible.  The basics, you know...The Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark and the meaning of the rainbow, The Birth of Jesus at Christmas and the Death of Jesus at Easter, the story of Moses' trip down the Nile and later Moses and the Exodus and the parting of the Red Sea and a few others.  What I didn't fully grasp was why Jesus died this horrible death of crucifixion for me.  It wasn't until later in life, in my 30's that I began to learn about it in more detail.  Truly it is a story, the account of Jesus leaving His amazing heavenly home to live here as an example for me which 2000 years later I get to read about his life here on Earth and how it affects me.  And then when he was 33 years old, he died for me!  The ultimate of one dying for a friend.  He loved me that much, that he would lay down his life for me.  God designed how this world would be, I don't get to debate that with Him, I choose to learn how to live in His created world and see Jesus as my example.  So what does that look like here for me?  How do I lay down my life for a friend?  In the small things it looks like giving up a right that I feel I have for another person's right.  Putting others before myself.  Not demanding my own way.  Imagine if we all lived this way?  If we all put others before ourselves?  Oh, what a beautiful place that would be.  There would be no narcissism, no totalitarianism, no dictatorships, no wars, no fighting, no terrorism, oh my!  Heaven really!!  

For my paper, I wrote that I would not die for a friend.  In my young mind I thought, if Heaven was the better place to be, then I would let me friend die so they could be in Heaven with Jesus and I stay here in this world where awful people and horrors rule.  I can't remember what my grade was or what my teacher must have thought of my paper and I wonder what I would write today if asked the same question.  But as for my faith, I try to do this as often as I can for my friends.  Not a literal death, but the death of MY choices, MY ways, MY rights, MY ideas to give another a chance at feeling loved because I put their needs before my own. After all, the Lord will take care of my needs so I don't have to.  

If any of this stirs up in you a desire to converse with me on my thoughts or how the Bible and scripture has shaped my life, reach out.  I'd love to chat.  

February, known for Valentine's Day.  A day to show your love to another.   A little history search mentions St. Valentine was from the third century.  He was said to have ministered to the faithful amidst Christian persecution in the Roman Empire, according to Wikipedia.  However when I think of love, my mind goes to Jesus.  He was the perfect example of Love, because HE IS LOVE.  John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."  That is powerful and when I think of what Jesus did, He left His heavenly place, the most amazing place to come down to Earth and be among us so that He would lay down His life for us, that is true love.  God's plan and Jesus' Choice to do this.  

Have you ever experienced a time when someone put aside what they were doing, to come be by your side when in need?  Or alternately, have you ever experienced a time where you needed a friend and they chose not to come to be by your side?  Either way, how did that make you feel?  I have experienced both.  The contrast in feelings to both experiences is starkly different.  In one experience I felt a I was a burden, a problem, completely unseen and invisible.  In the other example, I felt completely cared and sacrificed for, as if I was the only one on the earth and that person caused me to feel seen, heard, LOVED!  

This is what Jesus did, He sacrificed for us needy people here on earth.  He left the comfort of His heavenly realm to show us a way to love each other, to show us how to live here and be comforted.  And then He continued his sacrifice, by allowing to be crucified because God said someone had to pay for our penalties.  We are not to judge how God designed this world and His plan, but we can learn from Christ's example of love.  

Whether St. Valentine or Jesus, both show love as an action.  Caring for another is love and its action.  One can feel loved based on the action of the other, but love itself is a verb, an action.  I choose to learn from Jesus' example because I have felt the effects of both ways and one way feels very loving and the other not at all.  I have told my family and friends if you need me I will be there!  I will change my plans if you need me.  I will put down my desires and my comfort if you need me.  That is the example Christ gave me and I long to be like Him.  

May you experience the action of His love and may you act in love towards others, and not just on Feb. 14!

It has long been a practice of mine that when I feel this way, one particular remedy I find works amazingly well to get out of a funk I'm in, is to find someone to give something to.  It doesn't have to be big or expensive.  Just thoughtful.  I am pretty sure we all have these days.  I am not talking about major depression or illness, just a general bleh feeling.  I make a decision to pray about who I might be able to bless.  My mind starts to go into all different directions.  I begin to think about all my friends and family who are going through difficult times and how can I help?  What gesture might be right for the situation?  I find when I get out of my head about me and how I'm feeling and begin to think about others and what they might be going through, my focus shifts from a self-centered mind to an other-centered mind and then when I add in how I could bless them, I begin to feel joy.  The ideas really are endless.  A hand written note?  Personally deliver a flower to someone?  Make a meal and deliver it?  Mail a package with some goodies in it?  There are just so many options and then, when I do the actual thing, and the person receives whatever I decided on,  the joy becomes contagious!  

There is so much scripture one can find when searching what the Bible has to say about giving. I encourage you to look into it.  Acts 20:35 actually states at the end of that scripture "It is more blessed to give than to receive" and Hebrews 13:16 says "Do not neglect to do good to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God."  Luke 6:38 says "Give, and it will be given to you.  Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you."  

There is a sense of sacrifice in these scriptures.  I think of it this way....I will sacrifice how I am feeling in the moment (sad, irritated, depressed) and put thoughts of others ahead of those feelings and act on my thoughts..."do good" and supernaturally as the verses suggest, the investment I made will come back to me based on what I put into it.  It's not a gumball machine though.  I don't do these things to get something.  There must be a genuine-ness to it.  Am I genuinely thinking of others, getting excited about blessing another, joy gets generated and becomes contagious.  At the end of the day, there is a sense and feeling of completeness.  I can look back on my day and know I did something to help another person smile, feel loved, feel seen, perhaps even begin to draw them out of a funk and maybe even witness a pay it forward event where they in turn do the something special for someone else.  That is what makes the world a better place.  It starts with getting out of my own head, putting others before myself.  If this speaks to you and you do something like this, please feel free to reach out to me and share about your experience!  

Spread the Love!